All of you
by thisiswhereIkeepmyfics
Summary: Rita has a secret from her past that she feels like she needs to keep hidden from Iain. How will they both react when he unexpectedly finds out?
A little bit off angsty Riain with a fluffy ending :)

Contains brief mention of domestic assault so please don't read if you think this might be triggering for you.

* * *

Six months, it had been six whole months since Iain and Rita had shared their first kiss together, six months and Iain hadn't seen Rita naked, sure they'd had sex but she'd only take her clothes off if the room was dark and she'd be sure to get dressed before Iain woke the next morning, either that or she'd leave her t-shirt on.

Iain hated that Rita felt like she had to hide part of herself from him, he didn't care how she looked, he loved her and nothing she could hide under her clothes would change that. He made sure he told her frequently, almost constantly reminding you that he loved her and he thought she was beautiful. It wasn't enough though, Rita still insisted on keeping her top half covered so he didn't push it, if she wanted to tell him what she was hiding, he was sure she'd tell him in her own time.

They only ever showered alone, and, after a stressful day Iain would run her a warm bubble bath and then, respecting her wishes, he'd retreat back downstairs until she was dessed and ready for him to hold her tightly. He'd soon realised that her back was off limits, he'd found that out when he'd slipped his hands under her t-shirt, fully intending on removing her bra but she'd frozen, quickly pulling away under the pretence of making them both a cup of tea.

Rita wasn't even sure why she'd ever let herself get so close to Iain, she'd promised herself she wouldn't get this involved with anyone ever again, she knew he wouldn't understand, she knew that if her insecurities didn't drive him away that he was certain to run once he found out the reason for them. Mark had been disgusted by her, she wouldn't blame Iain for feeling the same way. She'd worked hard to build up her walls, she wasn't sure how or when Iain had broken through them but he had, she knew it would be hard to put herself back together once Iain left but all she could do now was enjoy the time they had together before he found out.

"Reet" Iain walked into the bathroom, "have you seen my…" he trailed off, not realising she was about to get in the shower and she froze, unable to believe she'd forgotten to do something as simple as lock the bathroom door. "Reet" Iain whispered, his eyes fixed on the blotchy scar that covered most of her back.

"Get out" she whispered, not turning to face him, she could just imagine the look on his face, she could almost hear him judging her, "get out" she repeated, her voice getting louder, her eyes filling with tears as she realised that this was it, that once Iain left they'd be over, why would he want to be with her now? "Get out" she began to sob, "get out, get out, get out."

Iain couldn't move, Rita was falling apart in front of him so he did the first thing that came to mind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him, "Rita" he whispered.

"No" she fought against him, "just go, if you're going to leave, just, just go."

"Oh Darling" Iain reached for Rita's towel and draped it over her shoulders, "I'm not going anywhere" he whispered as he kissed her head.

"I don't… Iain if you're going to leave me do it now, please, don't, don't drag it out."

"I mean what I say Rita, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to leave you. I love you, this, seeing your back, it doesn't change anything okay."

"Mark" Rita whispered, "he said it was ugly, that I was ugly and that no one would want me."

"Well he was wrong, you're beautiful and I love you, I'm not going to leave you Darling, I can't promise you much but I can promise you that."

Rita finally began to relax into his embrace, "I, do you want me to tell you how I got it?"

"You can if you want to but you don't have to if you don't want to talk about it."

"No, I, I want to tell you."

"Okay" Iain pulled away to take Rita's dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door and wrapping it around her body, "let's go into the bedroom yeah?"

"It was Mark" she whispered once they were settled in bed, her head in the crook of Iain's neck so she didn't have to look at him, "I erm, I didn't have his dinner ready when he came home from the pub, I went to get something from the fridge and he threw a pan of boiling water at me."

"Oh Rita" Iain whispered, his hold on her tightening as if he could protect her from her past.

"He, I screamed, I've never felt so much pain, I fell to the floor and he just threw the pan at me and walked out of the house. I, I dragged myself upstairs and into the shower, I don't know how I managed it, I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, I don't even remember calling 999, I just remember being curled on the floor of the shower holding the phone when they came in, I'd been sick from the pain and they, they didn't say anything but I knew, I saw how they looked at one another and I knew it was bad. I was in hospital for over 2 months, Mark didn't come and see me once. When I got home, the place was a tip and he expected me to clean it up, the pan he'd thrown at me was still on the kitchen floor and he, he told me nobody else would want me, that if I left him I'd be on my own for the rest of my life so I, I stayed Iain, I know I should have left, I should have left him the first time he hit me, I was so stupid."

"No you weren't" Iain said softly, "you were scared, Mark manipulated you, you weren't stupid at all, and you got out, it doesn't matter how long or what it took, what matters is you got out and I can promise you Rita, I will never harm a single hair on your head, I hope you know that."

"I love you Iain."

"I love you too Rita" Iain said softly, wiping her tears away with his thumbs and kissing her forehead, "do you still want a shower?" Rita nodded, "Can I join you?"

"I… you really want to?"

"Yeah" Iain nodded, "only if it wouldn't make you uncomfortable though."

"No" Rita whispered, "you erm, you can come."

Iain smiled and gently kissed Rita's lips, "thank you".

"I haven't done anything." Rita frowned.

"You're letting me in, I can only imagine how hard that is for you so thank you for that."

Rita blushed slightly and stood from the bed, holding out her hand to Iain and leading him to the ensuite, slipping off her dressing gown and quickly stepping under the warm water. Iain washed Rita's hair for her before cautiously asking, "can I wash your back?"

He saw a look of fear cross Rita's face before she slowly nodded, "you, you don't have to."

"I'd like to" Iain said softly, carefully kissing his way around the edge of her scar before pouring some shower gel into his hands and gently massaging her back as he worked the soap into a lather on her skin, some patches still an angry red and others far paler than her already pale skin, he could only imagine how much pain she'd been at the time and it broke his heart that she'd had to go through it at all.

"Iain" the gentleness of his touch broke her, it was obvious that he was cautious, not because he didn't want to touch her damaged skin but because he was wary of hurting her, "Iain" tears were rolling freely down her cheeks as Iain stopped what he was doing and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked when he saw her tears.

"No, no" if she was honest, the burns had been so bad that in places she had no feeling at all but Iain's touch hadn't hurt, "I just…" she didn't know how to express the way she felt, how relieved she was, how free she felt now Iain knew, now she no longer had to hide. She felt like she could finally breathe again now she knew she didn't have to constantly worry about keeping herself covered, "I just love you."

Iain smiled and kissed Rita's lips, "I love you too Reet, all of you, and as far as I'm concerned I always will." 


End file.
